Avatar from the Abyss

Posted: March 10, 2018 in Uncategorized

There is no logic within dreams physics is skewed proportion distorted
the senses run amok the chaos is beautiful
the only clarity in a dream is the clarity of emotion
in a realm where feelings rule such beauty can be terrifying.

I wake crying tears of joyful regret crying out in panic
the terror the monsters the love and gladness and other wishes granted
the exhilaration of fear realized knowing all of it is true
how the worst thing you can think of does not seem to destroy you.

Here your fear takes shape and is confronted – a marvelous offering
how vague menace becomes a specific thing
only then can it be faced only then defeated
such unconscious insight is a gift of power.

A dream is a vision projected in mind light prisoners of sleep cannot deny
at dawn truth goes easily unseen slips silently behind the coming sun
in daylight a vision is invisible like jellyfish floating in shallow tidal pools
a luminous avatar from the abyss aglow in the dim depths of the unconscious.


Blue Moon Friday

Posted: March 9, 2018 in Uncategorized

Blue moon déjà vu a Friday less fraught
the month is quartered seasons ordered
the days drone on.

I seem to recall more like this one
remember the ones with a difference too
no point pining for lost good times.

We’re all shadows of our former selves
or else new versions of what we always were
in time we’ve perfected some sense of ourselves.

A slower metabolism a conservative mindset
new notions grown old
still deemed worthy of our allegiance.

It all seemed like a good idea
in a once upon a time time
now I’m not so sure.

The Way I Think

Posted: March 8, 2018 in Uncategorized

Everything I say and do the way that I think
it’s all false and gossamer thin.

It’s like an elaborate maze made of paper shreds
I cannot support this front I fear the silence.

To others I am only noise
I am a construct of my mind.

An intricate house of cards designed by Escher
collapse is inevitable if not imminent.

What is left when the rest is stripped away
when I am no longer me will I then truly be?

house of walls

Posted: March 6, 2018 in Uncategorized

something there is about consciousness confined within spatial limitations
physical senses in relationship to four-dimensional structure
how perspective influences perception how shapes shift perceived reality

house of walls and fractured light when you block out the sunlight shadows appear
shelters you build create their own darkness the geometry changes as light bends

the house is a maze of doors opening into other rooms
some larger some smaller some higher or more cramped as perception has it

these spaces are places of muffled sound dampened radiance ambient soul
someone has come this way before someone has lived in these rooms
if they are watching now take comfort

Apocalypse Averted

Posted: March 5, 2018 in Uncategorized

I spend a lot of my time beating back anxiety
fending off dark intruders

I battle these four horsemen of my oft-deferred apocalypse
gain high ground see things are not so dire after all
I see a vast field dotted with few adversaries.

Still I am outnumbered
this war continues with endless skirmishes
these enemies cannot be slain but they can be vanquished.

I Fell Out of the Sky

Posted: March 3, 2018 in Uncategorized

I fell out of the sky fell from a womb of clouds onto a bed of nails
fell through the cracks in love into the arms of strangers
fell from my own good graces well short of my ideals
someone dropped me someone caught me stood me upright
removed their hands from my shoulders to see if I could stand on my own
mostly I did.

Take it as it comes and give as good as you get
it’s a tactic not a strategy useful for brief skirmishes in the trenches
even hobbled a fallen angel must thence become a warrior
or else arrive with well laid plans hidden deep within a tangled heart
you are lost only until you find another way
mostly I do.

How Could I

Posted: March 2, 2018 in Uncategorized

All this time he saw himself as prudent and cautious
he knew his timidity as few others could
how had he taken these risks?

He scanned his scars assayed his injuries
felt dull ache along fault lines of bones long broken
knew too the pain only memory can bring.

               All self-inflicted I was not prudent I was not cautious
               I ran through fire snatching at gold rings where I could
               hungry to taste too willing to satisfy my eager appetites.

The best little boy in the world grew to manhood
the man knew only the boy as his father
the man was not who he thought he’d become
could not understand his own recklessness.

               Mind gelled and jailed in sentiment
               sweet sap oozing like amoebic amber fossilizing perception
               these actions these mistakes speak for themselves
               they were something I thought I could never do.

               At least I wrote myself an interesting story.