Kiss From the Past

Posted: October 11, 2017 in Uncategorized

I reset everything in my memory what I said to what you said
how it all played out the things I did wrong
how much hurt I felt how much pain I gave.

I failed to give as good as I got
certainty pales and wilts in the shadow of memory
sometimes I summon the cold courage to look truth in the eye.

Tear away the rosy recollections see clearly how things were
I prefer the warmth but the cold is bracing
an astringent kiss from the past.

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I Could Walk Away

Posted: October 10, 2017 in Uncategorized

There’s no heat in your fire you’re like a painted flame
pasteurized jazz making music safe for white people
assuming correct postures feeling nothing
missing mindfulness in the moment.

I draw a deep breath arrest the impulse to please
I’m too eager for your approval you’re too willing to withhold
this repetitive cycle builds frustration
never mind.

The wounds I inflict with the weapons I wield
I am angry at myself
I willed myself to forget
red is your favorite color.

When I saw scarlet lines of ruby beads welling from slit skin
it all came back
but I was no longer lame
I could walk away.

we all caress mirrors

Posted: October 6, 2017 in Uncategorized

he presents himself as a lean object a thing to be adored
no harm intended we all caress mirrors
seeking a reflection of ourselves in others
we find no comfort there no understanding
the fault is in the truth that eludes us

stunned by the silver light we fail to see clearly
rely on affect try to feel our way navigating by touch
quickened by the shape of our immanence
we embrace the graven images we have become
he holds tight presses against the dampened radiance within

Best Intentions

Posted: October 3, 2017 in Uncategorized

I’ve made some stupid choices in my life
could make like old blue eyes and sing about regret
my eyes are brown they see clearly
what I have done not done and undone
I spread fault evenly over the surface of these images
try to smooth out the rough edge of blame.

Analyzing cause and effect objectifies the heart
I chose you chose wrong you chose me to similar effect
stumbling into one another’s arms with bruising tenderness
damage done with best intentions
I’m sorry if I hurt you
I feel worse about my own pain.

father figure

Posted: September 26, 2017 in Uncategorized

the father figure the stranger one in the same
never sworn to duty never embraced by purpose
no armor bequeathed no wisdom imparted
a warrior of the tribe by virtue of gender only
going through the motions of empty ritual

the cutting and the pain must be born
no flinching no crying in our fathers’ lodge
we are frightened and must be brave
willing to slay any foe sever any tie

we know the price others may pay
we can show them no mercy
lest our own weakness will out
and we ourselves fall dishonored
unworthy of a father’s name

real right now

Posted: September 22, 2017 in Uncategorized

time is a secondary consequence of space mass momentum
the universe expands it takes time it makes time
so many distant points of reference from there to here
we squeeze out life through the spaces between clock ticks

existence just keeps flowing time never stops
you can feel it when you know how long it takes to see a star
yesterday’s light casting shadows over today
it’s only real right now

Save Yourself

Posted: September 20, 2017 in Uncategorized

I’m tired of being crippled by a cruel universe
my suffering helps no one my inability to justify a prayer
calling God on the carpet for His neglect.

If Hell is other people’s indifference
then understanding is a kind of Heaven
but there is no purity in it.

We make our own music sculpt our own beauty
no father in the sky to bless us no heavenly chorus caroling
no angel on our shoulder to keep us from harm.

If you want to be saved save yourself
better yet save someone else
if you’re expecting miracles you’re useless.