The First Spark

Posted: August 12, 2018 in Uncategorized

Yeah yeah we get it we just don’t care
astonished by the lack of comprehension
fundamentally it’s a problem of awareness
I cannot look into your eyes without revealing myself.

The world behind those eyes can be a fearful place
a dark chasm into which I have tossed love
and fear tears and laughter and all manner of regard
mere fuel for the fire that lights your eyes.

I sparked the first flame when I planted myself in your gaze
thinking if there is to be light we must build this blaze together
better to see one another with more clarity and detail
take my hand show me how we can do this in the dark.

Patterns

Posted: August 9, 2018 in Uncategorized

I was thinking about patterns
when I took a break from my devices
scientific ways to detect a quantum of truth
demonstrable theorems replicable results
such methods are reassuring.

The fundamental need
to understand ourselves
groping in darkness
dimly lit by glowing solar winds –
stardust!

This is how we apprehend our limitations
this is how we learn to come back for more
how we make ourselves comfortable
inside the hollows we have excavated in our hearts
resting assured the mind is a wonderful thing.

Kind of Funny

Posted: August 6, 2018 in Uncategorized

I’m in a funny place
don’t want to go out
don’t want to pick up
the food on my plate holds no appeal
other appetites too recede.

Go through the motions
like currents in the ocean
to and fro with the flow
muster a friendly nod
a baseline signifier of peaceful intent
I do not care to harm
as I do not care to care.

Day by day my body betrays me in small ways
the knives in this house are dull
I see things that aren’t there
overlook what is not funny
not funny ha ha I mean.

Unless you can laugh at grace
pratfalling on its face
dropping subjects
now where did I put my dignity?

All that rage against the machine
collapses back on my head
shoots steam coalescing
like a wet hot embrace
from a familiar stranger
a raving street messiah
his forewarnings unheeded.

I mean who has time for that
it’s kind of funny
if you think about it that way
not funny ha ha I mean.

When I Am Myself

Posted: August 2, 2018 in Uncategorized

When I am myself I am a well
I am sun and warmth light and comfort
when I am myself.

When I am not myself I fall through or rise above
I panic or I understand
I stumble or I soar.

When I am myself I bring laughter and strength
I am comfort and courage
when I am not myself I fail or I transcend.

I can then absolve and abandon
delete erase and subtract myself
once and for all once again.

Castaway

Posted: July 31, 2018 in Uncategorized

My solitude is the price I pay
for withholding
your absence absolves me.
My caring dissolves like dew
on cold stone of your indifference.

Now gray sand and brown pebbles
grate between my toes.
I walk a lonely shore
a castaway scanning far horizons.

Any approaching vessel
can bring rescue
or invasion.

The Pity Pig

Posted: July 29, 2018 in Uncategorized

The pity pig wallows in it then I make myself laugh.
I do this all the time is it a sign of insanity mania
an echo of hilarity ringing in a haunted belfry?
But then all the Gothic goo burns up in a flash
melting wax oozes away from reason’s bright flame.

In this context self-recognition is in itself humorous
when we laugh at ourselves we prove ourselves sane.
Standing before the mirror all Oscar Wilde and witticisms
snark caught in silver glass silken smooth yet brittle
too clever too but funny nonetheless.

Such
costume artifice
has no place
in
a barnyard.

She Is Not Risen

Posted: July 25, 2018 in Uncategorized

She demanded love
used it like a crutch
to prop herself up.

Much of my anxiety
vanished in smoke
cremated along with her corpse
nothing to fear from the dear departed.

Now she sends phantoms
from beyond the grave
specters I myself must summon
out of my own mind.

Don’t give it a thought
don’t get caught
singing arias amid tombstones
having whistled away the fear.

Though she comes in many guises
I’d know that face anywhere
I see her in the mirror often enough.

No recognition without repetition
the muck stops here.