Clues

Posted: November 12, 2018 in Uncategorized

I see shadows of invisible things
hidden rays I can feel but cannot touch
orderly laws of physics
give way to racial sense memory
mine only fester and tears do me no good.

The rising of a sun the movement of stars across heavens
a vast indifference to the ticktock mechanics of my clanking cranium
entwining network of nerves threading worry through my body
stiff muscles sore neck bowed head petrified in submission.

Tension releases only when I raise my gaze
somewhere out there something is signaling
though welcome these godly emanations make me wary
this emergent cosmic eminence may decree on too grand a scale
in the way eternity devours time and strength wipes away weakness.

I hunch within my self-confining space
no door to close against silence
and dark cloaked beings who likely mean me no harm
who may in fact offer deliverance
which demands I move from here.

Life is a slow-motion exodus
sliding like tectonic plates over earth’s molten core
I progress at a rate of six centimeters per eon
every ten thousand years I get a clue.

Wishes Wane

Posted: November 3, 2018 in Uncategorized

Pacing the floor looking at lines forming
a faint fractured fresco etching my pale palm
thinking it wasn’t the happiest of lives
but then who is happy truly in life
what shape does it take how long can it last?

Once I thought I knew joy’s features
but forms conform to forces familiar
and I am fond of contentment.

Wishes wane in fading sunlight
the pictures they paint are black-and-white
less pleasing to eyes than to mind
a reflection of function over form
some chiaroscuro bastard offspring.

This coupling of wisdom and experience
seems messy but inevitable – a birthing
a serene infant too smooth and formless.

Cultivated

Posted: October 31, 2018 in Uncategorized

My beard is shorn I am a cultivated man

          Distaff crazy cat lady mad poet on the corner

Howling hounds of the neighborhood Baskerville Hall

          Son of Sam scenarios before you know it

It’s a good thing old people are frail

          It’s nature’s way of protecting the rest of us

We confine our casualties to drawing rooms

Low Point

Posted: October 18, 2018 in Uncategorized

At your lowest point
broken and wounded
lying on the floor
black blood gushing

from your broken joints
I held you
I wept over you.
You were not my lover

you were not my mother
you were not my father
not my brother my sister
you were not my friend.

You were someone
and I was someone else
who cared for you
only in that moment.

Experience Discourages Valor

Posted: October 13, 2018 in Uncategorized

I hate how I tainted you with my anxiety
my jittery lack of confidence a contagion
it takes courage to be strong
experience discourages valor.

Not even the gods willingly risked flames
tell myself I believe in tomorrow
hope and mercy fire and brimstone
I teeter in the balance I do not tweet.

I am no canary and this is no coal mine
compression of my carbon-based atoms
produces a heat-blasted heart of diamond
becomes its own source of light.

If I am thrown by what I then see
I may weaken and I may stumble
if I get back up I will stand taller
I will hold you without trembling.

Tale Told

Posted: October 11, 2018 in Uncategorized

Mine is a sad saga not a horror story perhaps a terrible poem
like all true fiction it deals with ugly reality good and evil
not black and white but the vast gray realm in between,

blood-stained earth from which dark legacies grow
poison vines with pretty flowers.
In the primeval forests from which we sprang

we first tasted the flesh of animals.
We cultivated fruits of the land
planted crops and stacked stones to great heights,

fell to our knees beneath long shadows of high obelisks.
We still inhabit these places huddled tightly together
telling each other stories of our past lives,

how there was wine and song sadness and suffering too.
What I beheld in the king’s crimson court of last resort
it was given me to tell.

Let Me Sleep on It

Posted: October 4, 2018 in Uncategorized

I dreamed I saw myself
clearly for the first time
…reflected in your eyes.

I objectified myself in an unconscious realm
…translucent shroud thrown over consciousness
seeing in dreams how we see ourselves clearly.

Reason on recess when I wake
you beside me touching me
…gravity and time have changed my form.

Your touch exposes my embarrassment
aging vanity sulking in the corner
…always nearby never satisfied.

When you see me as I once saw myself
my desire to become a better person
seems questionable…let me sleep on it.