Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Avoiding Revelations

Posted: September 1, 2019 in Uncategorized

You never lacked for certainty
though your beliefs changed over time
as bedrock turned to sand
one temple after another
collapsing into dust and rubble
ruins of inconvenient memory.

Fuzzy old photos we looked at
they were versions of ourselves
still somewhat recognizable
facial muscles arranging smiles heads lifted
posture unprepared for our own future
though we sensed its coming.

And so now we devise new belief systems
accommodate present-tense circumstance
act accordingly go about our business resolute
still open to     yet hoping to    avoid revelations
too soon for another life-changing event
enlightenment can be such an inconvenience.

Don’t Think

Posted: August 11, 2019 in Uncategorized

What if I don’t think
turn off the tap lay down my head
shut my eyes let benign darkness take me
emptiness embrace me.

I pursue familiar fantasies again and again
wearing grooves into my brain
memories binding tighter and tighter
squeezing out the present moment.

If I am alone now at least I know how I got here
there is that to sit with:
reasons I spin to explain where I’ve been
exhausted now pursuing the past.

When did I take up brooding?
There is no menace in it no unbound Frankenstein monster
no October werewolf broken free at last
only a cold place in which to huddle.

I could generate heat at will
make my mind a furnace to burn off this chilly limbo
create a thermal door or blast a charred hole in the wall
at least a window perhaps to admire the pretty view.

But then of course I’d need to decide
whether or not to take a stroll
though my preference would be
not to have to think about it.

Mute

Posted: July 4, 2019 in Uncategorized

I envy the dead a little
they need give no explanations.
This incessant necessity to vindicate myself

to wipe away your puzzled frown
erase the mildly alarmed face of my inquisitor
avid curiosity beneath your placid gaze

such dreadful calm demeanor.
You would have me rip open my chest to reveal my heart
tear off the top of my head to “share” my thoughts.

I would have given them to you freely
but I was unable to express myself i was lame
incoherent inarticulate all too self-aware.

My heart on the other hand I would not give
nor allow you like an Aztec priest to rip it from my chest
bloody and still beating.

If I am melodramatic it is because I have seen you in action
I know how far you will go pursuing your truth.
Facing my judges I am struck mute

before the mob I can only collapse
allow myself to be trampled though I’m no martyr
just another dumb ass who couldn’t explain himself.

Mutual Horizons

Posted: June 30, 2019 in Uncategorized

I see the world as an existential threat
but it’s okay

If you cannot relate to this you do not know me
the years of friendship

Only paper and words I understand you may not understand
but I cannot understand why

In this way I know you in a way you do not know me
yet no better

This is why I always wear a rueful smile tell a joke
to pull laughter from your gut if only for a moment

It seems then we are true to one another we do understand
and though such good times roll on by

They form a long silver chain
stretching beyond limits of our mutual horizons

Things I fill my head with to keep myself sane:
I do not wish to join the vanilla people
though their soft arms open wide to receive me
another sheep in the herd suitable for shearing.

I hide from them
my frantic ceremonies to keep them at bay
only attract their attention.
They see schizophrenia psychosis episodes

anti-social disturbance and ill repute.
I told them I keep telling them:
I talk to myself because I’m the only one here
an empty room listens at least.

Proof of madness?
All I ask is benign neglect
leave me be I mean you no harm
please don’t burn me at the stake.

Just turn your big broad backs to me
and I will vanish within your white shadows.
Only from time to time you may hear
echoes of my maniacal laughter.

Start to Finish

Posted: May 18, 2019 in Uncategorized

That’s how it always seems to go from start to finish
the same message swaddled in different words
a sermon a lecture a teaching sharing giving
preaching from pulpit kneeling at altar
ranting on a street corner.

The end is always near never here no one knows for sure
especially those substituting faith for knowledge
every statement the mother of countless questions
have faith in science test your theories
only continue to dream.

Bad Habits

Posted: May 11, 2019 in Uncategorized

I made you a habit
a commodity
you were disposable

a temporary fix.
I brought everything I could
to each occasion

heat and charm in abundance
a bouquet of artificial flowers
pretty to look at but unnatural

lifeless through and through
a product of chemistry we created.
When we were spent I shed my lab coat

headed for the nearest sealed exit
thinking you were a good person
who had some bad habits.